I Am Baker

Success! Kinda.

Its taken me awhile to update my blog about my husband.

I havent really known what to say.

Its been an emotional roller coaster to say the least.  I was an wreck before and during his ablation procedure… but after having researched it and nurses and doctors explaining it, it seemed like no-fail.

When I spoke with the doctor right after the procedure, it was such good news.  “He’s a great candidate for this.”  “His heart, aside from the AFib, is very healthy.”  Even after, the news was encouraging.  “It was a success.”

Chad stayed in the hospital overnight and it was rough.  Coming home was rough.  The next seven days were rough.  Recovery was not easy for him and it was hard to see, much less understand.

A week later when he went back for a check-up and EKG, we got the news that we feared.

He is back in AFib.

If we continue to listen to doctors thats kinda normal.  I mean, the ideal scenario presented to us was that they find the connection that was causing the problem and that Chad would never deal with AFib again.  That didnt happen.  But now they are saying that some AFib is normal.  But how much?

They propose chemical cardio versions and actual cardio versions and maybe even more ablations.  More drugs more procedures more of the same stuff that keeps failing.

Its hard seeing Chad like this, knowing that his body is not working like it should and that the side effects are hurting him.

Its hard facing a future of what-ifs, maybes, and kindas.

So many have reached out and shared their own experiences with AFib and I appreciate that.  Its good hearing about and understanding how others cope.

I think we are just in a state of unknown.  We dont know where to go or what to believe about it anymore.

We do have tremendous faith in God and in His plan for us.  We are forging ahead in spite of the “unknown” and making some pretty big steps in the direction of Hope.  Big changes and big plans and big dreams that it may seem funny to follow, but the alternative is just not an option.

And with all the events of late, its good to put things into perspective… into the right perspective that is.

This quote sums things up for me.

Hardships and Destiny

Sending love and blessings to all those who are dealing with trials today.



I Am Baker

The View From Here

We arrived about 9:30 this morning.

Tentative.  Nervous.

Cautiously Hopeful.

Chad Before Ablation


As I type this Chad is having an ablation.

Technically not a surgery, but an invasive procedure none the less.  They are going in and going to try and get rid of any unnecessary tissue in Chad’s heart.  It can be a long and difficult procedure, taking as long as 6 hours.  Chad will be out the entire time, and will not awake again until he is in recovery tonight.  He will most likely remember nothing.

We have such great hope that this procedure will end Chad’s Atrial Fibrillation!  We are finally (thanks to some encouraging and supportive friends!) comfortable praying for complete healing.

We have great hope that everything will go well and that they will not find any clots.  That the stress of this condition will be over and my husband will be healthy again.

We have been surrounded by caring friends and family, offering countless prayers.  Since we have great faith in the fact that prayer changes things, this means the world to us.

Hopefully my next post will have the headline… SUCCESS!  Prayers Answered!


I Am Baker

My Future Flashed Before My Eyes

Friday night didnt go as planned.

Chad was in the hospital.

I was pacing my floors like a crazy person in an asylum.

My husband wasn’t coming home tonight.  The doctors were keeping him overnight for observation because his heart was in Atrial Fibrillation.

From the Mayo Clinic website:

Atrial fibrillation is an irregular and often rapid heart rate that commonly causes poor blood flow to the body. During atrial fibrillation, the heart’s two upper chambers (the atria) beat chaotically and irregularly — out of coordination with the two lower chambers (the ventricles) of the heart. Atrial fibrillation symptoms include heart palpitations, shortness of breath and weakness.

This is not the first time I have heard of AFib.  Chads brother has been suffering with it for many years, as well as his mother.  And very recently and tragically, Chad’s father passed away and they believe it had something to do with a form of cardiac arrhythmia.

But my husband, he has always been healthy.  Never been overweight, never a big drinker (well, excluding a brief period in his youth) and not a smoker.

He is so strong.  Stronger than me.  My rock.   The backbone of our family.

Chad at Hospital

(this was him on the phone to his brother that night)

When he called from the hospital told me how serious things were, I responded like a good wife should and we hung up. ( I couldn’t go with him to the hospital, one of my kids had a cough and I don’t have a regular sitter and didn’t want anyone else to get sick.  My neighbor Jessica did come over for a few hours *thank you Jessica!* and I was able to visit him.)

But then I lost it.  Tears flowed from my very core and couldn’t control it.

It occurred to me in that raw moment of fear… I had no future without him.

Every dream I have is with him.  Includes him.  Is about him.  He is who I want to be with and who I want to love.   He is the father I want my kids to have and person I want my kids to grow up and be like.

Chad and Parker

The thought of losing him had never occurred to me before, and this new realization that my strong husband may not be ok literally made me sick to my stomach.

I could not even begin to wrap my head around it.

After I saw him and got some more details, I realized we were not in the middle of a life threatening situation.  I also knew that the pain of just losing Chads father to a similar situation was weighing heavily on my ability to use any reason.  So with some prayer and quiet time, calmness was achievable.

The good news is, you can live with heart arrhythmia.  We are working on finding ways to manage it naturally, looking at diet, supplements and lifestyle changes.  Maybe no more coffee in our house, no drinking, no extreme exercise (I will especially get on bored with this one) and better ways of managing stress and sleep.

Chad and Kids at Pumpkin Patch

I have decided that we will try to make changes together, not just expect Chad to make adjustments on his own.  I hope that we can find a new normal, a new way to live with and manage something that is potentially life threatening.  I hope that we are able to lean on God and trust His grand plan for us.

After all, we are a family. One big, dysfunctional, happy family.  And I hope to keep it that way for a long, long time. :)