Toddler Parenting 101

I have discovered the secret to parenting toddlers.

The Secret to Parenting Toddlers!

Its really simple actually.

They retain nothing.

It is my job to reiterate everything I say at least once daily, so that we can avoid all confusion.

The Secret to Parenting Toddlers! #parenting #momadvice

If I told them yesterday to never, ever, ever jump on the bed while holding a cup of milk, that is information that will need to be repeated today.

If I have requested that that they refrain from spitting on each others faces, well, its going to have to be re-said today, and it will be in my best interest to say it before breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The Secret to Parenting Toddlers! #parenting

When I ask them to not scream in unheard decibels at the dinner table, they will act like this is the first time they have ever heard such a thing. The look that crosses my sweet child’s face is one to true shock and confusion.

Its like they are thinking… what does she mean by this don’t scream nonsense??? This is the first we have heard of this!

And I should never be under the assumption that some rules are to be understood.

If I say, “Do not step on your brothers face!”

They just don’t get that I also meant, “Do not step on your brothers neck, chest, arms, legs, or any other body part that can be stepped on.”

I really need to work on being more specific!

The Secret to Parenting Toddlers #parenting

 

If my beloved child needs a little help wiping his behind after he uses the bathroom and I ask him to call for me when he is done so I can ‘supervise’, well, I should just assume that he doesn’t know he is not supposed to close the lid and then sit on the nice clean white toilet seat cover until I get there. I should have specifically told him that his poopy behind should not come in contact with anything for the 27 seconds he has to wait for my arrival. Silly me!

The Secret to Parenting Toddlers! #parenting

If only someone would have told me this yesterday! Instead of having a load of stale milk stained sheets and a poopy toilet seat cover in my laundry room, I could be watching The Real Housewives of anywhere and sipping latte while my children play quietly together in the other room.

The Secret to Parenting Toddlers! #parenting #momadvice
Sigh. Maybe tomorrow!

Comments

  1. says

    Ok, first of all I usually hate when a blogger posts similar images of their child multiple times but the expressions on your son’s face are absolutely priceless! This is the way to do multiple images. I’m laughing.

    Also the bit about “when I said don’t step on his head I should have specified also face, chest, arms, legs, and torso” cracked me up. I don’t have kids myself, but I’ve gone thru the same routine with my 3 godsons when watching them. I’ve learned over the years that you have to be very specific and VERY detailed. It puts me in mind of the Bill Cosby skit: You can’t just tell your son “take a shower “. You have to say “get in the tub, turn on the water, USE SOAP, wash all the parts, get out of the shower, turn off the water, USE A TOWEL, dry your hair, put on your pajamas (the bottoms too).”

    And yea, it’s the same when they’re teenagers. :)

  2. brenda says

    a friend with children a few years older than mine at the time, told me that one should visualize the child as walking across the stage to accept their diploma and know that they had shed some of those traits even if it was just during the pre grad sr. celebrations and then they could cope with their own issues. Did that give you any hope or not ?????????

  3. Laura says

    This made me smile. It is so true how you need to be so specific and keep repeating yourself. Great article.

  4. carol says

    Lol, that is so funny about the behind on the toilet. Yeah, as adult we forget kids need more specific instructions.

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