• Advice for Stressed Out Moms

    filed under: I Am Mommy on February 4, 2013

    Neapolitan Rose Cake by iambaker.net

    I dont know about you, but I am at my wits end.

    The never ending pile of laundry, the constant meal planning and preparation, driving kids from here to there, a home that is never clean, a car that is never clean, children that are never clean, and then whiny, disobedient kids to top it off.

    On top of everything mom related, there is work issues, wanting to be a good wife and all that entails, wanting to keep in touch with and be a good friend to others, to volunteer and give back in the community, as well as meet personal goals.


    I am stressed out.

    The second I even let my head get in a place where I think about the stress and annoyance, the mom guilt slips in.

    • “But Jane is suffering from cancer and she still has a spotless home.”
    • “Lucy has five more kids than me and always looks flawless and calm.”
    • “Jill works a full time job, has two kids and four pets, volunteers at church, and has never complained once.”
    • “I love my kids, being constantly upset with them is wrong.”

    My friend Sonya shared a great quote, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” – Steve Furtrick

    Which reminded me of this quote – “Comparison is the thief of joy” by Theodore Roosevelt.

    Go Theodore!  He is exactly right.  I have found certain satisfaction in accomplishments only to turn around, see someone else “do it better” and immediately assume mine are awful.

    And as a mom, wife, daughter, etc. I know that even when I am not comparing myself to others I can be overwhelmed with life’s daily tasks.

    Sometimes its just hard.

    I wanted to put together a list of things that can help!  So here are a few things I do to ease my daily burdens and frustrations.

    Embrace paper plates.

    Seriously.  Get all natural organic recycled if you have to, but just try it.  At least once a week.

    Try saying yes to a child.

    I find myself saying NO all day long.  No candy, no TV, no jumping, no screaming, etc.  If I allow moments of “yes” I am finding that there is less fighting, less headaches for me, and less backtalk when I ask them to fulfill a different task.  Its good to be consistent on important issues (like no running in the street and no hitting) but the occasional piece of candy is not worth me losing my mind over!

    Hop onto your computer and laugh.

    I have this Pinterest Board called Quotes and it makes me smile every.single. time.  All it takes is a good belly laugh for me to change my mood, perspective, and ability to respond to life like a normal, sane person.  (Try reading this pin about Random Acts of Kindness if you need some inspiration and joy!)

    Make time to pursue your passion.

    I happen to love baking.  I bake cakes and cupcakes and brownies and cookies.  I get a sense of satisfaction in creating something beautiful.

    Maybe yours is scrapbooking or needlepoint or karate or cooking or garage saleing.  Just make sure you set aside some time for you.

    Most have heard this before… but I had to hear it a 1,000 times before actually listening.  I always felt like I was being selfish or unreasonable to take time away from my family to do what I felt like doing.  The truth is that nurturing your self and soul is not selfish, it is our God given duty.  He wants us healthy and calm and able to love as He calls us to!

    Check one thing off your “list” everyday.

    Now, this one was painful for me to learn.  I am talking excruciating.  Being exhausted at night hardly lends itself to the extra motivation you sometimes need to complete tasks, and in those weak moments I would much rather leave things for the morning!

    Know why that is a BAD bad idea?  Then you start out your day in a negative.  Having to clean to kitchen before you can make breakfast or having to start laundry so kids have clothes that day.  Making the (sometimes hard) choice to do it that night allows a peaceful morning, and allows you to “fresh” state of mind when looking forward.

    All that being said… one of the best things I can recommend is having a trusted sounding board.  Maybe its heartfelt prayer time with God, venting while cuddling with hubby at night, or getting together with friends to compare notes.

    No matter what you do, know that you are NOT alone! 🙂

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    Such great reminders to keep in mind! Thank you 🙂

    Really good advice. I have a friend who hates doing the dishes so they do eat off disposable things every night. One less stresser for her!

      Every night? I like this friend of yours!!! 🙂

    I needed this. Thanks Amanda. And the marathon/cupcake quote made me laugh. Today has been tough, both kids got the stomach bug, separate times during the day, and when they cry becuase they are sick I literally cry too. It breaks my heart that I can’t do anything for them and that im stuck at work, and my husband is no longer around to really help out. And I just needed that giggle.

      Oh sweety!!! Sending prayers and healing and compassion your way… my heart goes out to you all!

    This is a wonderful blog post, Amanda… And, one I needed to read! With a 3 1/2 month old baby at home, I am finding that I have already started feeling guilty about anytime I want to do anything myself. We still haven’t left Miss Maddie with a sitter, but I am working up to it. 🙂

      It took me about 2 years. And that was only because I was in the hospital with another baby! 🙂 People have been telling me for years now… you MUST have date night at least once a month. No exceptions. We are still trying to make it work, but its a good goal to have! Feel free to email me or stop by here if there is every anything I can help with…!!!

    I could just kiss you for writing this post today. I’ve been stressing it lately, too. And it’s nice to know I’m not alone! 🙂 I needed the gentle reminder that it’s okay to not be perfect – and it’s okay to let go of things when we’re overwhelmed. My favorite ‘me time’? A nap! lol Keep up the great blog. I don’t comment often, but I do stalk regularly. I love your blog. 🙂

      So glad you commented today Shana! I know it also helps me knowing that I am not alone! Hope your stress level decreases and that you are able to get that much deserved nap!

    Love love LOVE this post!!!

    I feel this way all the time. Your list is great and the quotes are perfect. Thank you for being honest and sharing your heart.

      Well thanks for the great reminder! You are wise my friend!

    I didn’t write about a similar thing, but at the end, I went into Cheerleading for moms (or dads) at Sweet Peas & Buddies.

    It’s okay to be human, right?

    Thanks Amanda!! This post couldn’t have come at a better time. . I am now going to nursing school full time( which is giving us 30 chapters to read a week from 5 different books, tests every week and having to certify for certain tasks)then add in my normal day to day life with my hubby,the boys ages 3 and 6 yr old, and my 91 yr old nana totake care of while mantaining the house,dinner, 4 cats ,1 dog …I am ready to scream…:O)Sometimes we all need a reminder to just stop take a deep breath a thank God for giving us opportunities to shine…

      Girl… you have the weight of the world on your shoulders!!!! Praying that you find a moment to restore your soul. 🙂

    A post that I needed to read today. Wonderful suggestions, Amanda! Paper plates are on my grocery list. 🙂 Have a blessed week!

    I so relate to this. We, for some unknown reason, got a puppy yesterday. Today was a day of letting the dishes wait and lots of deep breaths just to get through. The puppy and toddler were constantly whining all morning but working so hard to stay present and zen actually made today enjoyable.

    That and I need to get some paper plates.

      Good luck with your new puppy!! They are even more work than babies! 🙂 Be blessed my friend!

    Love the quote from T. Roosevelt! Great reminder! Thanks for posting.

    …and here am I, in awe everytime I see your beautiful cake pictures, your cute kids, and read your stories that make me laugh. And I’m thinking – how does she do it all so effortlessly? HOW does she manage?

    Comparing to others, huh? *I* think you’re fabulous. 🙂

      Well thank you! You should read my other blog… “Things I Fail At Daily”. 😉

    Great quotes – and yes I have had a heap of stress and mum-guilt recently – so thanks 🙂 Hugs!

    So true, and such great reminders! The other day I was telling someone what we did that evening, and I caught myself saying “I even let her (my daughter) use glitter”. I hate that I’m so stressed out and always saying “no” that the fact I took the time to get out the glue and clean up the mess was an event worth mentioning! Gah!! Use more glitter!!

    Such a great, thoughtful blog! I’m a week away to transitioning into being a stay at home mom, on top of running a side business and all the other madness of life. This post was a breathe of fresh air for me!!

    Thank you for this post. I am a homeschooling SAHM to one very high-strung boy. Currently, I’m also taking grad classes to renew my teaching licenses. Add that to serving, running a house, taking care of my husband, and keeping up my own health, and I am tired. K-LOVE and Air1 have been playing a new song from 10th Avenue North called “Worn”. I highly recommend it!

    #5 is so true. Sometimes the after dinner mess seems so daunting to tackle after just having COOKED the dinner, fed the kids, tried to keep them from doing various disgusting things at the table (4 boys man! The grossness is non-stop sometime.), and then facing the bed time ritual an hour later. Sometimes I just want to collapse for that hour instead of do dishes and clean the kitchen. That sets us up for almost complete disaster in the morning though when you wake up to a sink of dirty dishes, a table that hasn’t been cleared, and a dishwasher that needs to be run. I am in SUCH a better mood if I come out to clean counters and a clean kitchen. Great post.

    Came across your blog searching for cake and cupcake decorating ideas. Been really stressed at home with 4 little ones. I want everything perfect and am constantly comparing myself to others. Thank you for this post….encouraging way to end my day!

    Don't Pass on Dessert!