Last night I was awoken by our dog, Raina, barking.  It was that different sort of bark where you know its not a squirrel or random critter.  I got up to tell her to hush and was blinded by a sea of red flashing lights.

Apparently, right in our backyard, a man (who I am guessing was severely intoxicated) had run from the police after being hit in the head with a baseball bat.

I feel funny even writing that.  He was not a nice man, and hurled profanity and insults at the emergency team that had assembled to help him.

This was 3:15am.  After the ambulance arrived and it was determined that all "Dwayne" knew was that he was very mad and that someone had hit him in the head with a baseball bat and he was now laying in the tall weeds, I figured I should head back to bed.

But as I was turning to go inside I heard this: (profanity not included)

"I am gonna get a lawyer and sue you!  Yeah, a lawyer and tell him you lied!  And he is gonna talk to you.  You are going to be talked to!  And he is a lawyer!  He is going to talk to you.  You better watch out police man.  You are gonna get talked to."

He then hurled the most terrifying threat of them all.

"And then I am gonna tell my wife on you!!!"

The men all shook in their boots a little at that one. 😉

So anyway, that is not my story.

This morning I let the dogs out and decided to investigate the scene (I have seen Law and Order, I am clearly a trained investigator) and see what damage had been done.

Not much.  It was pretty boring.

Until I happened upon this.

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Can ya see it?

Here, let me help.

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*insert violent shudder here*

This is a Black and Yellow Argiope.

This is a female, and she was surrounded by FIVE more Black and Yellow Argiopes.  

They are orb spiders, meaning that they have circular webs.  

They eat their web every single night and then make a new one every single day.

Their predators are birds, some wasps, and shrews and lizards.  

I had to go and look this up because I am TERRIFIED of spiders.  Sometimes having a little knowledge about them helps me sleep at night.  

Sometimes not.

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Thats the back of one.  I had six to choose from.  Did I mention there are SIX of these in the back yard?  That I could see anyway.  There are probably lots, lots more.

*still violently shuddering*

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I think I would rather have "Dwayne" hanging around.  

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Meet Amanda Rettke

Amanda Rettke is the creator of I Am Baker, and the bestselling author of Surprise Inside Cakes: Amazing Cakes for Every Occasion – With a Little Something Extra Inside.Over the course of her 15+ year blogging adventure, she has been featured in and collaborated with the Food Network, New York Times, LA Times, Country Living Magazine, People Magazine, Epicurious, Brides, Romantic Homes, life:beautiful, Publishers Weekly, The Daily Mail, Star Tribune, The Globe and Mail, DailyCandy, YumSugar, The Knot, The Kitchn, and Parade, to name a few.

Reader Comments

  1. How cool… about the spiders, not the guy. The little family of arachnids would make a good home school science lesson don’t you think? You and the guys could make a lapbook about spiders! How fun!! Checkout homeschoolshare.com There are some really fun lapbooks there. And they’re free.

  2. OMG!
    I am with you, I am, at 6ft tall & fluffy, terrified of spiders.
    From those type to the teeniest ones.
    Currently I have an icky, white, boney one that created a thick, cotton like web in btwn my window & screen.
    I was hoping my dh would get it but he’s been away since June12th & no idea when he’s coming home.
    Ick!
    Looks like I may have to do it.
    Ew!
    I feel all grossed out at just the idea.

  3. We have similar critters here in Florida, except ours are much more GINORMOUS.
    Oh, we have spiders too. 😉
    Loved the “Law and Order” comment – I feel like I have had some training, too!

  4. EWW I’m totally NOT a spider fan. I’m glad they are at your house, not mine 🙂 Great photos though! Happy Saturday.

  5. bwhahaha love that last sentence. Ugh I HATE spiders and those suckers I would not want anywhere near my house. OH my gosh.
    You’re pics are gorgeous of the web and spider though.
    Hope you’re having a lovely weekend.

  6. I wonder, when Dwayne fell into the tall weeds, if he landed on a few of these spiders!
    Great photographs Amanda, even is the subject matter gives one the willies!

  7. oh God, how can they (the spiders) get into your backyard? please have someone to get rid of them! (violently shuddering too)

  8. and i still can’t forget the day i trapped in my home toilet with a big spider sitting still near the door latch.

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