One of the most common questions I get asked is, "How did you have time to do that?"

I have hesitated so long in responding because I truly feel that I do not have a mainstream answer.

Being a mom of three, a wife to one, a full time maid, chef, teacher, shoe detective, counselor, and spiritual mentor just doesn't leave a whole lot of room for me to follow through on my ideas and inspiration. 

Occasionally I do get to start a project… and that usually involves lots and lots of support from my husband and grandparents and friends.

So if you see me post a before and after or show some new cookies I have made, it is a safe assumption that I would not have been able to complete it had someone else not stepped in and accepted my daily 'duties'.


About a year ago, after I complained to my hubby for the zilionth time about how I just didn't have enough time to get anything done… his responses led me to do some introspection.

I decided that I needed to make some changes.  I decided that I would not allow myself to say, "I don't have time for that," or "I didn't have time to do that."

Instead of just stopping cold turkey though, I decided to replace it with, "I did not make that a priority."

Now, I know it may not sound like a huge deal, but the first time I did it just happened to involve play time with my son.

I was updating my blog unloading the dishwasher and my son asked me to come into his room and see what he was building.  I would normally say, "In a bit honey.  I don't have time right this second."

But instead I was obliged to say, "I am not making you a priority right now."

It just about killed me.  

Because even though I had originally worded it differently to my children ("I don't have time") and appeased myself in the justification, the end result was the same for them

Verbalizing that I wasn't making something or someone a priority has forced me to be honest with how I spend my time. 



So, the cold, hard truth is, when I choose to fill my time with crafts or baking or planning party's it is most often at the expense of the state of my home and my relationships with others.

That is one of the reasons why I have made the choice to not pursue a cookie business.  I love making them, and I love giving them to friends and family, but I have no desire to make it the priority in my life right now.

I chose to have kids and stay at home with them and home school them and teach them about Jesus. 

THEY are my priority.

When they are older and more self-sufficient and maybe even willing to participate in the process, then I will consider pursuing my dreams.

But for now, in this time, in this place, I am most content watching my family's dreams become realized… and just so grateful that they are willing to take me along for the ride.

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Meet Amanda Rettke

Amanda Rettke is the creator of I Am Baker, and the bestselling author of Surprise Inside Cakes: Amazing Cakes for Every Occasion – With a Little Something Extra Inside.Over the course of her 15+ year blogging adventure, she has been featured in and collaborated with the Food Network, New York Times, LA Times, Country Living Magazine, People Magazine, Epicurious, Brides, Romantic Homes, life:beautiful, Publishers Weekly, The Daily Mail, Star Tribune, The Globe and Mail, DailyCandy, YumSugar, The Knot, The Kitchn, and Parade, to name a few.

Reader Comments

  1. what a wonderful post! and perfect timing for me, too…i’ve been very self-absorbed and not doing well with time management…i like changing the wording to “priority” since that will help me stay focused on what matters most, to me, too…sounds like we have very similar values, i just need to be more diligent in acting on mine…thanks! i may send readers a link to this again…

  2. Oh my gosh, how inspiring are you?! I often feel guilty for not spending time with my kids, then thinking I need to have stuff planned for them but don’t have the energy to plan anything. I love how you turned it around to saying ‘you’re just not a priority right now’. OUCH. I guess I tell my kids that way too often. Now, I’m off to MAKE them a priority. Thank you!

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