So You Say

filed under: Miscellaneous on May 15, 2009

Some may refer to themselves as President in Charge of Domestic Relations, Matriarch Division.  Me, well, I usually go by mom.

But every now and then, its exciting to 're-phrase' my life in such a way that it sounds far more fascinating then it is.

Can you match the correct phrase to the grammatically correct (like I would know what that is)expanded definition?  If you can, you are allowed to officially declare yourself,

Incomparable Champion of Obscure Terminology!

I recommend reading these aloud.  If anyone is around you they are going to think you are very smart, very well read, or very astutely studying important information… which I suppose it true of you if you are reading my blog. 

I'm just saying, I have smart readers!!  I'm not saying that I'm smart… just that YOU are.  Don't you agree?  🙂

Here goes!

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In an effort to encourage self analysis,  personal limitations, exploration and discovery of contemporary debate techniques, and to foster supplementary dialogs, I chose to authorize a 'non impeding' clause into my children's disciplinary repertoire.

 

Understanding the need for expedience; when confronted with an adolescent who declines to receive instruction, concentrate on present errand, or entertain rational introspection, I am inclined to elevate my intonation to acquire said adolescents' due diligence.

 

Upon entering utility area and appraising laundry condition I deduct that the most sagacious resolution is to temporarily terminate the accessibility of utility area and advance briskly away from operation.

 

Periodically, I necessitate a specific contemptible cuisine that is especially abominable for me based on the assumption that my inclination,conscience, or constitution requires it.

 

 

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Sometimes, when my kids don't listen, I lose it and yell at them to get their attention.

When I open my laundry room door, I freak out, slam the door shut, and run away.

Sometimes, when I'm emotional, I eat crummy food.

Occasionally, when my kids are fighting, I just ignore them and let them figure it out.

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I admit it.  I do all of these things.  But doesn't it sound so much better when big words are involved???  Maybe that's just me. 

Can you think of a fun way to re-phrase part of what you do everyday?  Got a neat expression for how you mow the grass (lawn cultivator?) or clean a bathroom?  I'd love to read it!!!

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Comments

  • Bethany says:

    HA! This blog is always good for a laugh or a deep thought. Love the way your mind works.

  • BP says:

    How funny!

  • Liz says:

    Love it!! I will have to use those!!

  • he & me +3 says:

    That is too funny.

  • Christy says:

    I’m going to have to think, but will have to get back to you, my brain is exhuasted (along with my body!!) after a long, but good day!

  • ElizaBeth says:

    We offer up “a spoonful of encouragement”, but no one ever wants seconds…..

  • Therese says:

    “I hope your child never gets a chance to read this.
    Its my honor and privalege to be the one who feeds my children everyday, who puts them through their routine, who holds their things (and their hands) while they tackle the wrold from a 3 foot high perspective. Who is the first person they run to when scared in the night.
    My greatest joy is being a mom…
    is yours?”
    You posted this on another blog attacking a post in which they voiced their frustration with their child (which was quite funny and not at ALL mean spirited in my opinion). Why would you do that? You admit to not being perfect and then lay a comment down like that? How sad.

  • Amanda Rettke says:

    Just so you know Therese, I stand by my comment 100%.  I felt that ‘piece’ that finslippy wrote to be sarcastic, hurtful, complaining, and downright RUDE to her child.  How would her child feel if he ever got the chance to read that???  Would HE think it was so funny?Who is going to stand up for the child here?  Because sadly, it was not his mother.
    I understand that all moms get frustrated, annoyed, fed up… but I would never try post those feelings in a public forum where friends and family could know, for the rest of my childs life, what a burden he is to me.  I would choose to talk to a trusted mentor, another mom who could lead me on the right path, and most importantly, God.
    You mentioned that you don’t think this was mean spirited… does it really matter or not?  What matters is that the words were publicly expressed, and that child may someday know that he is a burden to his mother.  It is not funny.  It is not right.
    I am sorry that my standing up for what I believe to be offensive to you.  Unfortunately, is this case, I choose to disagree with you and how you have chosen to handle this.  In your words, “Why would you do that?”  
    Just because my opinions differs from yours doesn’t mean you have right to track me down and chastise me or judge me or ridicule my role as a mother. Now, if you would like to have an open dialogue, a discussion about how we could both learn from this experience, I would
    love to talk more with you.
    In my humble opinion, more mothers need to stand up for their kids instead of going for at laugh at their expense.