You are the World

filed under: I Am Mommy on June 12, 2014

The older I get, the easier it is to accept responsibility over fun.  Ten years ago that is not a thought that would have lasted more than a millisecond in my brain, as I was all to often one to fulfill the self serving need.

Parker and Eddie 2014

 

I dont know when it started (birth) but I have always been a bit self-entitled.  I remember when I was in high school I used to do this thing to my parents.  When they would ask me to complete a task or help or do anything beyond the normal scope of existance, I would hold up my left pointer finger like I was counting #1 and say, “This is me.”  Then I would take my right hand pointer finger and make circles around the other finger.  “This is the world.”

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The implication being, of course, that I envisioned the world revolving around me.

Colton, Parker & Eddie in driveway 2014

 

When I got engaged I looked at a ring on my mom’s hand and said, “That is the kind of ring I want!”  It was quite large.  A beautifully cut center stone with many many diamonds surrounding.  My mom shook her head and said, “Amanda, my first ring was a very small, very imperfect, very humble stone.  This was a gift from your father after 15 years of marriage.”  She didn’t think it was very realistic of me to start out with the huge stone.  (I think she knew that I was far more concerned with the ring than I was the actual marriage at that point.)

And she was right.

Eddie and Parker 2014

 

Eventually, changes were made.  Faith was discovered. Humility became a goal instead of something to be avoided at all costs.  But as flawed and human as I am, I stumble.

There was recently an opportunity to go on a “work” trip that was in a tropical location.  It sounded like something that I would really benefit from, as the focus is photography and I am always trying to improve mine.  The setting is magical, the content is exciting and challenging, the company is going to be the best, as many blogging friends are going.

The time frame?  One week.  A full seven days away.

And I knew I could never go.

But more importantly, after about two minutes of dreamy wishful thinking, I didn’t have a need to be there.

My kids are still so young.  The oldest is just 9 and the youngest 12 months.  In addition to them having needs it just doesn’t make sense for me to pursue an endeavor that would put so much stress on others.  My husband for instance.  While I know he would support anything that I passionately pursued, this particular trip would have been a strain on his job and time.  We would have probably had to call in extra help (like a mom or a sitter) which would have been an additional stress on someone else’s time.

I just knew it wasn’t my time.

Parker and Eddie 2014

I know where I am needed right now.

I know that I will not always be needed in the same way, as little boys and girls grow and embrace independence and make their own paths in this world.

And I know that in this moment, my soul finds much more fulfillment in meeting the little (sometimes seemingly insignificant) needs of the people that I am blessed enough to call family.

It’s amazing (dumbfounds me actually) that I can find just as much satisfaction in a well made dinner than I can in career accolades, pursuits, and praises.

 

Be the World

 

Today, well, today I simply feel blessed to simply be needed.

In 10 years?  Watch out sandy beach, here I come!

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Comments

  • Amy @ MomAdvice says:

    I so understand this as I struggle with this too. I already feel like I am being phased out a bit as we enter the tween stage, but as long as they need me here, I weigh heavily if things are worthwhile or not. It’s so good to feel needed and to be with the people that love you so much! Good decision! xo

    • Amanda says:

      Girl, your babies will ALWAYS need you!! And I will remember to come and get some great “momadvice” from you when my little ones start that tween stage..!

  • Well said Amanda, while my boys are teens and older. I still have a responsibility to them, and also our business. I was also asked on the trip, and while I or my husband and I could have left them, it’s just not where my heart is. I love being home and taken care of my family – even if they are older.
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    • Amanda says:

      You are right… the call/need of our family is not based on age, but more on heart strings. 🙂

  • Aimee @ ShugarySweets says:

    So well written Amanda! My kids are much older with my youngest being 10 and my oldest at 17. I still said no to the same trip for many reasons. One, while it would be beneficial to learn everything, let’s be honest. It is a vacation. And it’s a vacation my FAMILY would love to go on! Knowing I was sipping drinks in a beautiful tropical vacation without my kids and husband would have eaten me with guilt. Plus, the scheduling of after school activities is hard enough for two parents let alone one parent. 7 days away from my 4 kids and my wonderful hubby is not worth it to me.
    However….if it were free…..okay. Kidding. Kinda.

    • Amanda says:

      LOL I love that you mentioned the part about them being there too! I know they would all love that location and scenery and I agree… guilt would have played a factor. Now, if you find that free trip I may need to reconsider my thoughts… 😉

  • Giselle says:

    That was beautiful, Amanda! I am not married, nor do I have kids yet, but I will keep this post in mind when I do. The sacrifice of a mother, it’s so easy to forget and take for granted. Such a lovely post. Thank you for sharing.

    • Amanda says:

      Thank you Giselle! Sounds like you already have the heart of a mama. 🙂

  • Angie | Big Bear's Wife says:

    I so wanted to go on that trip too. I NEEDED to be there, I thought about it all day yesterday just trying to figure out how to scrape the money up to go, I literally made my nerves frazzled with it and then this morning I got online to see that it was sold out. I think it was someone’s way of telling me that I didn’t need that trip. 🙁

    • Amanda says:

      Oh man… I am sorry that is how it worked out. And that it was stressful and nerve wracking! But you are wise to see a big picture in it all.. and know that maybe it wasn’t meant to be? Be blessed today Angie!

  • Lisa @ Garnish with Lemon says:

    Isn’t it good to be comfortable in our own skin and know that everyone does what is best for them and their family? xoxo

    • Amanda says:

      Yes. Maybe you rubbed off on me! 🙂

  • susan says:

    You are so grounded, Amanda. I love your writing, I love your kids faces, and I adore you! Gorgeous photos! Tells the story perfectly!

    • Amanda says:

      Oh, thank you Susan!! That is the nicest compliment ever and you totally just made my day! (ps. I love your writing too!)

  • Kathy -- Panini Happy says:

    Good for you for doing what’s right for you, Amanda! In my current headspace (eg, stressed and in a bit of limbo) I couldn’t even consider the trip. Gotta go with your gut on what feels right for you!

    • Amanda says:

      Thanks girl. Sorry there is a bit of stress and trepidation for you right now… you are wise to know what is best for your situation. 🙂

  • Sally says:

    I think that… some people never reach this point in a whole lifetime… knowing where they are genuinely needed, and embracing that… fulfilling the role… meeting the need. [xo]

    • Amanda says:

      🙂 You are wise my friend.

  • Judi Bennett says:

    Things definitely change when you are a mom… there are many years when “me” time comes in very short segments. It’s a crucial time of learning that you are no longer just a “me,” but an invaluable “you” in those little ones’ lives. Some people reject that lesson; I’m glad to see you embracing it, because you’ll never regret it. Your “me” time comes back to you-maybe not in 10 years, but soon enough. And then you will find yourself looking back over your shoulder to these times with much melancholy and fondness. And for sure you won’t have regrets, because you were there.

    • Amanda says:

      You are making me cry before I have coffee. 😉

  • Anna @ Crunchy Creamy Sweet says:

    Love this post, Amanda! I had to say no for the same reasons. Besides, there is no way I could enjoy the trip without my Hubby. He is my best friend and we do everything together. I agree with Aimee – going on a cruise (something we dream about doing together some day) without my family – I can’t imagine it. I am happy for those who signed up and will have a blast. In the same time, I will have a blast with my kids and my Hubby!

    • Amanda says:

      SO well said Anna. I totally agree with everything!!

  • Erin says:

    Right there with you girl! At first, I was all excited and really wanted to go. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want to be away for 7 days, and leave my family. We don’t even have family in town, so that would have made it even harder. I just couldn’t do it. So you an I can be jealous come January when we have to follow along on IG 🙂

    • Amanda says:

      lol I have a feeling there are going to be some pretty darn amazing images popping up in IG!! Blessings to you today Erin!

  • Christina // Sweet Lavender Bake Shoppe says:

    Welp I loved this just so so so much. It made me want to walk right up to you and give you a hug. Your priorities are right on and totally encouraging to me (a wee little blogger in comparison) 🙂

    • Amanda says:

      Well, stop with the comparison silly! You are amazing and talented and wonderful and kind. So kind! 🙂

  • Mary says:

    I am going on a cruise in September for 7+ days without my children or husband and I am already excited, yet sort of freaking out about being away from the kiddos for so long. I have only been away from them two days, but now that they are 10 & 12, I feel it’s time. Your time will come too Amanda and it will be much easier to enjoy and learn in that time, instead of fret, worry and not get the most out it. Bless you and your family 🙂

    • Amanda says:

      Have FUN Mary!! I know what an amazing mom you are and also know how much we as moms need these experiences, away from the kids. I am SO excited for you!!

  • Christi @ Love From The Oven says:

    I love this Amanda. I often feel like so many bloggers are traveling non-stop, and it’s great for them. I however sometimes feel like I am some weird hold out. I travel once or twice a year for sponsored work, but at this stage of life, for me, home is where I need to be and where I want to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on connections, deepening relationships with other bloggers and brands and possible work opportunities, but I feel like there is forever for those things, where the moments at home are fleeting, and I truly do not want to miss them, because I know one day, that will come all too fast, I will miss the crazy, chaotic, messy, loud moments that fill my home. And heart. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, it’s good to know that others feel the same sometimes.

    • Amanda says:

      You, maybe even more than most, are so essential to your sweet babes right now. Your love and concern give them roots and wings girl. And I know, maybe not anytime soon, but someday… we will also fly!! 🙂

  • winnie says:

    I enjoyed this post, Amanda. I did not even consider this trip because my husband travels for work and there’s just no way it would work out for our family. I hope the folks who are going have a blast but it’s just not in the cards for me at this time. Maybe someday when my kids are all grown up I can consider stuff like this (which actually isn’t too far from now since they are 12 and 15)!

    • Amanda says:

      It is fun to think about for the future though, right? 🙂 Be blessed today girl!

  • taylor @ greens & chocolate says:

    What a beautiful, well thought-out post, Amanda. My husband and I were just talking about the ways having children will effect our lives and while some days I feel I’m ready, other days it scares the heck out of me how much my life will change. In the best way of course 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the decision you made….I for sure benefit from your wisdom 🙂

    • Amanda says:

      Well, miss beautiful Taylor, it sounds like you are already have a thoughtful and loving mothers heart. 🙂 Now go do something fun and crazy and let me live vicariously through you. 😉

  • Norene @Party Pinching says:

    Beautifully written! My sons are now in college and high school. The days of Hot Wheels have turned into real wheels at the blink of an eye. I was fortunate enough to stay home and be there for every minute of it and it still went fast. Last year was the first time my husband and I went alone on a trip for a week for our 25th anniversary. You made the right choice because now it’s me begging our kids to carve out time for us! Enjoy those sweet muddy faces! You can only find that look of pure joy in your own backyard!

  • Serena | Serena Bakes Simply From Scratch says:

    I am the same way.. I would feel guilty leaving my family while I’m off on a cruise and thinking about how my husband might be struggling to juggle work and the kids while I’m gone! Such a wonderful post Amanda, I’m glad to know I’m not alone!

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