I Am Baker

Do You Expect God to Do What You Pray?

Let me get real down and dirty here.

I dont know what to pray.

In August my Father in Law died suddenly of a heart condition.  Six months later my husband was diagnosed with the same condition.  So I prayed, “Dear Lord, we trust you with Chad.  Whatever Your will, may it be done.”

I re-evaluated our lives and tried to pinpoint sin.  I had conversations with God about acceptance and faith.  I told God, ” I believe that You will only bring us through trials to draw us closer to You and further Your kingdom.  Its all about Your glorification.”

That is what I am supposed to say right?  That is what I am supposed to believe?  I mean, I do.  God loves me and wants the best for me.  His greatest desire is to fully know me and be in a relationship with me.  He would put any trial in our paths that would ultimately lead to a greater trust and faith in Him.

I never so much as let myself entertain the words, “Just heal him Lord.  Just make my husband well.  I know you can do anything God, please just heal him.”

I don’t dare.

My faith is strong!  My faith is steady!  I know God can heal, I just don’t want to test Him.

The truth is, I desperately just want to beg Him to make Chad whole.  When I sat in the room and watched them shock Chad’s heart, there was peace.  Seeing his heart go from a normal sinus rhythm right back into AFib… its like I could feel God there.  The pain and grief of knowing that this treatment didn’t work…it wasn’t overwhelming.  There was a calmness.  Like I knew it was God’s will.  (Even just saying that feels awkward, please don’t think I am minimizing the situation in any way.)

I am afraid.  Terrified.

Afraid to ask for His healing.  Afraid that for some sovereign reason we wont get it.  Afraid of feeling rejection.  Afraid of losing my husband and not being able to praise God like Job so graciously did.

Job 1:21

And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”

And most of all, I am afraid of losing my relationship with God.

Maybe healing Chad is not in His plan.  He knows the big picture right?  Who am I to walk in and say, ‘Nope.  Not this trial God.  We love and trust You just fine thank you very much.  Lets just get some healing now OK?”

God intercedes for us... Romans 8:26

Romans 8:26-27

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

God even goes so far as to guide me when He knows I am lost praying.  He searches my heart!  But are the desires of my heart all that matter?  Or do I need to say the words… and believe He will provide?

What if my prayers are wrong… and not answered like I want them to be.

Just feeling confused and a little broken.

And my question is, Do you expect God to answer your prayers?  What do you do when He doesn’t?

 

Comments

  1. Alesandra says

    Jessica,
    I have only recently found your website thanks to Pintrest and I must say you are one talented woman. I was not familiar with this site before today, but I already admire all the time and passion you invest it.

    After taking a look around I really felt moved to respond to this entry. This “praying/God being faithful” topic is really, really quite close to my heart. I don’t believe your husband’s heart condition is God’s will. The Bible is full of God’s amazing promises He has given us. He said, “by His stripes we are healed.” Paul so powerfully declared, “my God shall supply all our need.” The Father is the One who encourages us, “to come boldly to the throne of grace.” God says what He means and means what He says. We don’t know what God is thinking or what His will is, unless He said it and God said He was faithful:)

    This is something I read that was soo encouraging and you might appreciate:

    “Bold prayers honor God, and God honors bold prayers. God is’t offended by your biggest dreams or boldest prayers. He is offended by anything less. Why? Because they don’t require divine intervention.

    There is nothing God loves more thank keeping promises, answering prayers, performing miracles and fulfilling dreams. That is who He is. That is what He does. And the bigger, the better because God gets more glory.”

    -Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker

    This may be bold, but it completely parallels God’s word. The Father wants us to let Him be God! Have faith in Him! And I mean deep rooted, unshakable, walk by faith and not by sight kind of faith. Not one part of me believes this condition is what God wants for you two and I will definitely have you both in my prayers:) Thank you for this lovely site and God bless!

    • Mrs L says

      Let God’s word rightly divided (2 Timothy 2:15) settle your doubts and calm your fears. Jesus came to demonstrate God’s will, and guess what? He ALWAYS healed those who came to Him. Faith comes by hearing God’s Word (Romans 10 :17), so fill yourself up with faith-filled thoughts, like, “By his stripes, we were healed.” (Isaiah 53:5), “And many followed him, and He healed them all…” (Matthew 12: 15), “They shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover” (Mark 16:18). If you want more, just let me know, darling…I’m full of them. : ) Faith is like a muscle that we can exercise, building it up (with God’s Words of healing, in this case) to be strong, (Luke 7:9), or weak (Matthew 8:26).

      In regards to Job, something we forget too often as New Testament Christians, is that we have a NEW and BETTER covenant (Hebrews 8:6) (being Jesus, and His death, burial, and resurrection), with better benefits, like the promise of healing by Jesus’ stripes. Job could not claim this promise, because Jesus had not yet come! I have been on my faith journey for over 10 years. I’ve had victories and yes, some disappointments, but I can honestly say, mostly victories! Later, I understood that it wasn’t because it wasn’t God’s will for me. There were things I didn’t understand or know to do. I can promise you this, it is not God’s will for you to lose your husband. And I can back that up with God’s Word. Jesus was the expression of God’s will on the earth, and he never, ever, ever (smile), let people die in order to make their families somehow better. You’ll never find that in God’s Word. Many times we (including myself) interject our opinions into situations in order to explain what we don’t understand, but stick close to the Word. Come boldly to the throne of grace to ask for help in your time of need, dear heart. (Hebrews 4:16) You write back if you would like. I’ll be believing with you! I’m including a link of a testimony of a man healed of heart problems, because the Bible says we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. http://www.awmi.net/extra/healing/waller And to think, I just came here for the polka dot cake…xo Your sister in Christ, Mrs. L

  2. says

    Hey, Amanda.
    I trust God will use even this struggle regarding prayer to draw you closer to Himself, and to strengthen your faith.
    Yes, I always expect God to answer my prayers. And He always does. BUT, not always in the way I’d hoped or asked. And that’s a good thing – which I don’t usually understand until I have plenty of hind-sight.
    As I look at Jesus’ prayer in the garden, when He asked God to let the cup pass Him by – “yet not as I will, but as You will” – I have learned to not be afraid or ashamed to ask God for my desire. At the same time, God has shown me HIS will is best – and I can trust Him. (What if God had answered Jesus’ prayer as Jesus asked it? Where would our eternal hope be???) So, I will ask for my will, but I will surrender to GOD’s will. (And sometimes they match up!)
    Praying God will strengthen your heart as you trust Him to lead you through this circumstance with Chad. May you find peace and joy knowing HE will always, always, always do what is best for you – and His faithfulness will endure.
    Love you , friend!

  3. Maddie says

    Someone recently told me that before you have faith to be healed, you must have the faith not to be healed. Gods will is not always what we want, but it is ALAWAYS what will help up grow most. When it comes to praying, the scriptures tell us to burden God with everything in prayer. It’s alright to ask for healing, but we should also be thankful for what he has already given is and ask for faith and perseverance in trial. Remember that God loves you and knows you!

  4. says

    I don’t know if you still have questions about this but I want you to know that God gave us healing by dying on the cross for our sins, he set us free, therefore it’s ALWAYS His will for healing. The mentality of us bearing suffering because of our sins is not one from the Bible. I know Jesus is always able to bring good out of suffering but he didn’t give it to us! God set us free and we should receive it, if there is sickness then it is our job to cast it out and heal the sick. That’s what Jesus did and exactly what He told us to do. Mat 10: 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give! Will be praying for you and your family xx

  5. terya says

    I don’t think God really answers our prayers, I don’t think how we feel really matters. It’s His will. Sometimes I feel like I’ve grown leaps and bounds in my relationship with Him and sometimes I feel like a pawn in a chess game. My prayer lately is just for God to make His lessons simpler to see and understand; Why does everything have to be such a riddle?

  6. Michael says

    Yes expect God to answer and pray in confidence and tell him that you won’t take no for an answer Show him you know he exists in your heart. Remember in John 6 when Jesus told all his disciples that he IS the Bread of Life and you EAT my flesh and DRINK my blood. remember when Jesus say “Amen I say to you” He MEANS WHAT HE SAYS. and how many “realists” ran from him but the twelve? God likes you to be totally honest. I remember a time when I skipped class and they sent my parents a letter. I was asked “son. Is there anything you want to tell me about school last week?” I said no Dad nothing “Are you sure?” I said no He asked again and said did you skip class? I said to myself “uh oh” then said nope I didn’t. I lied to him and he already knew the truth. HE got much more mad for my lying than the fact I cut class once. Same with God yes he knows how you truly feel and if you are totally angry with him. tell him. tell him no it is NOT alright that you let my family be sick or I didn’t get that job I wanted or that my life sucks. no it is NOT alright with me in fact I think it is NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now. at the same time i would try to deal with God’s over abundance of “No” and tell him while i am very angry I love you and please show me why if it be your will. But you have got to be totally honest with God and don’t mince words. He gets “realists” everyday lukewarm attitudes, Walk out on a limb with God get out on the water and walk on it by looking at Christ. the best way to begin a true walk with Christ, you got to go out on a limb and not worry about every whip stitch word you tell him or feel. If you truly are angry with God it’s in your heart and you can’ mask your heart with false niceties towards Christ when in your heart of hearts you’re seething at him at the situation,,, Tell him Tell him the truth. then work it out with him in time be persistent and never ever give up ever!!!!! I know this is an old post but still relevant to all situations in life. God bless

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