Birthday Cake {I Got Nothin’}

filed under: Cakes on February 7, 2013

I had no intention of posting this cake, ever.

But this I read Bridgets post, I Got Nothin’, and I suddenly had courage.

We have no secrets here friends.  My cake life is an open book! 😉

Coltons Birthday Cake


But.  Before you even think about bustin out some kind compliment in spite of what is before you currently, please, just take a closer look.

Wait, dont.  Just trust me.

And trust me when I say, this is so far from the vision in my head its not even funny.  Its supposed to be a rectangle cake with cake letters spelling out “Happy Birthday”.  The letters were supposed to be upright.

I sorta just threw them on top cause they call were to heavy to stand up.  Its a pile of letters.  Not spelling anything.  Hanging out on top of a cake.  With awkward too-crunchy sprinkles scattered about.

Coltons Birthday Cake


Just look at that awesome attention to detail.  The intricately cracked chocolate, big gaping wholes everywhere, gross un-finished ragged edges, cracked lines around the cake, and I might even be missing the letter “r” in there because it completely disintegrated into the hot chocolate that I melted to drizzle over the letters.

So you can think Bridget for this little glimpse into “How NOT to Decorate a Birthday Cake.”

That being said, my sweet now-eight-year-old loved his cake.  His only request was that it was white cake (he doesnt like chocolate and is the only one on the family who doesnt!) and thankfully the inside is indeed white.  He was happy.

The Best Ever Homemade Chocolate Milk

And he got this super awesome homemade chocolate milk.  And 8 dollars in cash.  And sweet cards from his brothers and sister.  And lots and lots of hugs and kisses.  And one timeout.  I mean, he is an 8-year old boy after all.

I’d say overall, it was a great day. 🙂



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  • Marci Johnson says:

    I fail every time I try to do a cake. Cupcakes… sometimes… a whole cake and I throw up my hands! Personally, I think the cake looks very modern. Kinda like an antique cake with cracks with a modern twist! Someday I will succeed at baking a full cake successfully!!

  • Allison E. says:

    I don’t think it’s an epic fail. I like the concept. I am REALLY drawn to the shape and the colour and the matching sprinkles on the bottom of the cake. I wouldn’t give up on this idea. I think it could work!

  • Maria says:

    i have not the same idea about the disaster as you :D, I’m sure he was very good even if it was not as you wished. It is so reassuring to know that you’re not a “perfect” woman 🙂

    your french fan Maria 🙂

    • Amanda says:

      🙂 Nice to hear from you Maria!

  • Meg says:

    Thanks for making the rest of us feel normal. Even your “disaster” is better than my best. LOL

  • Alison coley says:

    I love the cake, I love that you are showing the cake, and that is the best thing about cakes, anything that you are unhappy with tastes fab, and gets eaten, so only crumbs remain to remind you of a sorry tale…
    Glad your son loved it!
    Have a look at royal icing techniques – the one that you need to look at is Run out – as that will give you the fine and light weight yet strong and colourful medium for the lettering. Pastillage, is another paste that will work well, as will a mixture of flower and sugar paste. All British techniques, so I don’t know how they would be working with in different heat and humidity – sugar is quite temperamental.
    Can I just say, I love the way you get hearts into cakes, I am at present running the way you possibly do this through my head, and I am going to start experimenting soon! It is a fascinating conundrum.

  • Jen @ Savory Simple says:

    You are too hard on yourself! This is way better than 95% of people could do. I wish I could have a slice for breakfast!

  • Terry says:

    I love it!!…the messy ones are usually the best tasting!

  • Pam, in NC says:

    hahaha!!! I can laugh because I have been there!!! And it really is a ‘pretty cake’!! Love the colors… And seriously, I can see the potential here for a cake like this!!!! Might have to give it a try – but ‘kudos’ to you for honestly sharing ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly’!! 🙂 (No, really, it’s NOT ugly…NO cake could be “ugly”!!!!)

  • Sommer@ASpicyPerspective says:

    It still looks pretty impressive to me. 🙂

  • Brenda says:

    In my opinion … the Birthday Boy was happy … that’s all that matters! I do believe that we are our own worst critics. Your cake looks good to me 🙂

  • Carla @ Carla's Confections says:

    I seriously love that! I love the jumple of letters and the random (yet not random) splatters of blue sparkles. So cool. Mess or not, its still better than any cake Ive done! I want to try something like that actually. 🙂

  • vanillasugarblog says:

    HA! dropkick cake!
    Or wait, maybe it’s abstract cake art—thats more modern sounding?

  • Lyric says:

    It looks like its meant to be like that and Im kind of loving it. I request you come to my birthday and make me a cake thats white to;) Im not the biggest fan of chocolate either… weird I know.

  • Nicki says:

    L o v i n g the intricately cracked chocolate! 😀 I literally laughed out loud when I read that.
    Gotta try that design for my birthday cake tomorrow…

  • Rachel @ Baked by Rachel says:

    Your description… or rather words tearing apart your creation kind of had me cracking up. We’re so critical of ourselves but honestly, the cake is STILL pretty and impressive.

  • Jenny says:

    I love the idea of the letters!! How about making them out of cookies instead of cake so they are not that heavy?
    Anyway, I love it and might have to try it out. Thanks for sharing it!! 😀

  • Dani says:

    OMG girl.. you seriously had me cracking up at the beginning of this post!!! I love it. Maybe if the letters are smaller & more carefully placed, it can work another time.. 😉

  • Julie Stottmann says:

    OK so it might be a hot mess but a tasty hot mess is ALWAYS forgivable! Your’re still batting something like 999 out of 1,000 right? Thanks for sharing the “oopses” with us. 🙂

  • ANITA says:

    I’m so gld o know that you guys have mess up too, not just us non bloggers! I still liked your cake , I’ve served a mess o my family too and they loved it.

  • Susan F says:

    Thank you for sharing this! It helps to see stuff like this when I have kitchen disasters. Those, of course, are more frequent for me than kitchen conquers! lol Loved the idea you had and could actually see how you could do the letter pile in a cool funky way. I might try it. In chocolate of course! lol

  • Petra says:

    My God, what a kirsch…

  • Loretta | A Finn In The Kitchen says:

    HA ha! Glad to know you’re human! I’d still eat it…

  • Gena@BakeAllTheThings! says:

    It’s SO refreshing to see this post! So often, we see professional bakers or long-time food bloggers and assume that EVERY SINGLE THING they make is perfect-looking. And even if 10% of my treats are perfect-looking compared to 10% of yours being IMperfect, it’s wonderful too confirm you’re still human too. 🙂

  • Tamie says:

    Artists are their own worse critics lol! This is the best faux fail bomb cake I have ever seen! I would have proudly served it with a mischievous smile and my family/friends/fans would have raved about it!