I dont know about you, but this is a tough season for me. Â I love Christmas, I love spending time with family, I love the joy of giving to others and reaching out to the community.
But honestly, it stresses me out too.
My house never seems clean enough, my to-do list has never been longer and never gets done, and my kids are at the height of selfishness. Â Every commercial they see and stranger they run into talks about gifts and toys and seems to encourage them to “want” more.
There is this book, this amazing little insightful and thought provoking book that I have grown to love.
Its called Confessions of an Irritable Mother by Karen Hossink.
I had the pleasure of meeting Karen a few years ago and seeing her speak to a group of women. Â She is amazing. Â She is caring. Â Her love for the Lord and desire to obey Him are such an inspiration to me.
I am sharing this with you because of how her true to life experiences detailed in her book are essential to me.  Especially this time of year!  I need to know how to turn the interruptions into learning experiences.
I need help figuring out how God is speaking to me, in all things.
Here is an excerpt from her website:
Are you frustrated with mothering? Are you feeling overwhelmed and hopeless? Have you ever secretly questioned God’s wisdom in giving you children?
You’re not alone.
Karen Hossink has wrestled with her own feelings of inadequacy as a mother:
I didn’t start off mean. And certainly, being the ‘Meanest Mom in the World’ was never my goal. Yet, somehow, my son thought I was worthy of the title. To be fair, the majority of times Joshua crowned me queen of the meanies was when I was punishing him, or when I wasn’t giving him what he wanted. Nonetheless, he seemed pretty convinced I deserved the title and when you hear something often enough, you start to believe it’s true… I wanted so desperately to be a good mom – to meet their needs and do everything just right – but I sat there on the step weeping, feeling completely overwhelmed. I wondered if maybe, just this once, God may have made a mistake.
In the midst of the tears, Karen found that God is good, and even in our most dire circumstance there is hope. Karen’s warm-hearted transparency shines through in Confessions of an Irritable Mother, as she shares candidly about her own personal battle – the trials and the triumphs – on the journey toward holiness on which God has been leading her. By God’s grace, you too can come to understand He is using your children and your struggles as a mother to refine you like silver and transform you into the woman He wants you to be.
Because I have a such a love for moms and our daily struggles and truly want to see victories over these obstacles, I would like to share two copies Karens book with you all.
How can you win?
Simply leave a comment telling me, “What is one thing that could help easy your stress?”
For an additional entry:
“Like” Karens facebook page. (Its a wonderfully uplifting and encouraging page, you will love it I promise!)
Feel free to visit Karens beautiful blog, Surviving Motherhood .
Karen does all she can to help us seek out God’s wisdom and grace in everything we do. Â I am so thankful for her!
For official rules see here.
Blogging. It’s how I relieve stress. It’s also a record of the incidents in my life so that my children know that…sometimes it’s not always Mommy’s fault when she’s mean. SOMEtimes…they were just being turds.* I’m expecting VERY nice Mother’s Day gifts for the rest of my life after I compile my blog for my children to read. *grin*
*calling my kids turds is my exclusive right because of how they entered this wold.
The biggest thing that could relieve my stress is letting go of my own, unreachable expectations of myself and of those around me. I can’t…and don’t need to “do it all” yet I keep trying only to be tired, irritable and stressed over most of it! And it is all my own doing. Not accepting help when offered, not asking for help when needed….one of these days I will learn!
But it sounds like this book is right up my alley!!
Kristin – been there, AND done that! Yes, letting go and realizing that GOD is the ONLY ONE who is perfect is an important step.
I think that if I only had a couple of extra hours each day that my stress would melt away. (and then I wake up from my lovely dream!) Realistically, I think that if I could “let go and let God” I’d be less stressed. But it’s just so hard.
I think that I would have less stress in my life if my mother-in-law moved out of the country
Honestly, I should just admit that with four young kids, the laundry will never be finished. My house will never be as clean as I would like it. I have a bad habit of comparing my home to the homes of others, most of whom have fewer children or older ones that are less messy. I need to let go of perfectionism.
Thank you, Amanda, for doing this give-away. I pray the women who receive the books will be blessed as they read – drawn closer to the heart of God!
Going to the gym and then out to eat would ease my stress. There is just no time this time of year!
I like on facebook!
Just a few minutes alone out of the house seems to ease the stress. If I’m at home I am constantly thinking about what I should be doing.
I honestly don’t know how to relieve the overwhelmed feelings I feel. I have 2 disabled children and now take care of my mother full time since she has a stroke this summer. Sometimes I just grab a big glass of sweet tea and sit on my porch for a few and just BREATHE
I know you said one, but I have several!…..SOMETIMES just closing my eyes for a second and taking a really deep breath (or two) helps ease my stress. Eating sugar!!! Spending time with one of my best friends. I have two kids and she has 3. I’m trying to figure out how she parents them without yelling
Seeking God, even just for a minute, seems to help some days go smoother!
Although I don’t have children, I know it can be very challenging for my sister at times. So to help alleviate some of the stress, I have them come over to my place for sleepovers and “stress” me out instead
What a wonderful sister you are!!!
Working out routinely and not putting expectations and hopes on other people.
Baking is my therapy! It relaxes me so well.
Baking relieves me from stress and music too…..
I would love this book for my mom. I’m 26 now but I have two brothers who are in elementary school. My mom’s destress is definitely her religion, listening to religious radio while she tries to tackle the seemingly never ending house/mother work. I think she would really enjoy this book!
I love to cook to relieve stress. As a new christian, I’m relying in God to help me during those moments…
I already like you on FB
I would love to win this book! Just reading the small except is a page out of my life. I try to listen to Christian music which always uplifts me. But I forget to listen to it often….
One thing that would help ease my stress,…. a clone. Actually several clones. One to clean, one to sleep, one to cook and then I would be free to spend all the time I had with my kids and hubby. Wouldn’t that be nice. Ok, so realistically speaking the one thing that would help me would be less morning/evening/all day yucky sickness and more sleep. I guess that is two things, I will take the less sickness then! Have a Merry Christmas!
Being alone, reading an inspiring book!
Wow! I definitely needed to read this. It is amazing to me how God uses others to speak to my heart!
It requires late nights when the children are asleep—the quiet time speak to my soul!
My best stress relief is baking-it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it is sweet and ends up being cute! I am working hard to “perfect” my royal icing skills
Thank you for your ministry
Patti
Today helped relieve my stress some. Great football day with the family. It was just what I needed to make it through the rest of the holiday season. Ready for a great day at church tomorrow to get me pumped for this week!
I need to realign/reassess my priorities and have better time management skills. Or rather just more self discipline to stop wasting time on what really isn’t important so I have the time for what really is important. Thanks for this post. I’m always up for an honest portrayal of how hard motherhood is really is, but with a good God loving servants heart point of view.
Someone to do my laundry. (or for my kids to be old enough to do it! LOL) Right now my oldest can only fold towels. (he’s 5) and laundry just is always always overwhelming to me. (house of 5 with my mother renting our basement)
Realizing I am not the same person I was before I had my daughter, or even before I was pregnant. My body will no longer physically support me running 40 miles a week, and that was my biggest stress relief. Realizing that, because I have to work and my husband works, my house will never be as clean as I want and I will rarely (if ever) be caught up. Realizing that playing with my daughter and spending time with her and my husband are more important than an immaculate house. And realizing I may never completely and fully realize any of that
But honestly…I really, really, REALLY want to hire a cleaning service to come in and seriously deep clean my house, just once. I mean, even clean the lightbulbs. I want it.
I liked her page, too!
WOW…I want to go to her blog now…but I will answer in hopes of getting that book first! Something that could ease my stress is to understand that people will probably still like me if I say no to them once in a while. I know this, yes, but I am afraid to do it? WIll you bake me more cookies? yes. Will you go to the mall with me tomorrow? yes. Can I come hang out with you for hrs? yes… Thank you Jesus for helping me learn and get through this time in my life with 2 sweet toddlers that I should be saying YES to far more often than friends.
Waking up in ample time before the kids to seek God’s face in Word and prayer!
Free daycare! Hello! To have my children tended so I can do something without interruption?!?! I could actually accomplish something. That would be the best.
You can’t “like” her page as it’s her profile. No offense to Karen, but I don’t want to be friends with people I don’t know. Does she have a fan page or something?
To clarify, *I* couldn’t “like” her page. I checked the link again and it brought me to her personal page, no “like” option available. As I said, No offense was meant. (And I also asked if she had a different fan page, that I would be more than happy to Like.) I apologize if that was taken in a hurtful way by anyone. I wasn’t even being an “Irritable Mother” at that moment.
I’m now subscribed to her on FB
Honestly, waking up eariler has helped taking the stress away. I wake up at 5, read the Bible with some coffee, and start on some chores before my girls get up at 6:30. I don’t which has made the biggest difference, spending time with the Word or starting chores early but the routine is a keeper! (I have NEVER been a morning person….go figure)
I always find that I am less irritable when I don’t have anything planned and am prepared to spend time just playing with my kids or for pasta-making to end up a 2 hour affair. I also know that my day goes much better when I get up early to spend some time with the Lord.
I think that having a day where my house was totally clean would help–specifically, clutter dealt with an put away. I don’t mind the toys, or a mess here and there: I do mind a mess everywhere, and somedays it seems as if I don’t make the progress needed. I would not trade a second of my life since my kids–not one. But stress-wise, a day without clutter would be good.
What I find helps is paying others to do the things that you don’t have to do. I work fulltime outside the home and to not feel like an awful mom for not being at home with my kids, I hire help to clean and cook. That way when I come home, the house is clean, there is dinner inteh fridge ready to be heated and
made some chocolate cupcakes with creamcheese frosting and cute christmasy sprinkles last night for just that reason!
I use all of my time to spend with my husband and son. Its been working so far. And ofcourse when all else fails – I make cupcakes
Am I too late to enter?? I hope not!!
A maid. A maid would DEFINITELY help ease my stress. I’m just keepin it real here, folks!
going to the gym eases my stress
Baking eases my stress, but I end up eating a lot, which is bad!
have faith and keep reminding yourself that YOU ARE HUMAN – like mother nature who is capable of wonderful things you will have sunny days as well as rainy ones.
imagine yourself in the (sometimes tedious) process of making a fabulous dessert, the goal is worth it but it may take some stressing out to get there. but wouldn’t you do it again, and again, and again etc?
Hi Amanda-
It’s funny that you posed this question because I ask myself this all of the time, but even more so during Christmas. I have a busy 3 year old and a brand new 3 month old. I want Christmas to be memorable and important for my son and special for my daughter since its her first. I have heard over and over that you can’t be perfect and its like “they” are speaking directly to me. As strange as it sounds I have found stress relief and even comfort in realizing all that won”t be done. We are trying so hard to show my son the real meaning of Christmas. Mary didnt need that perfectly decorated manger to have our Savior and King. I don’t need perfect ornaments and decorations around my front door. After a lot of deep breathing I’ve realized that I’m ok with that!
Music Baking Gardening Tai Chi if i knew how Pulling weeds screaming in the wind
Since becoming a mom I was overwhelmed with the endless to do lists to anticipate and take care of my family needs. I also became crazed with the perfectionism of motherhood; meaning no GOOD mother takes time off from her family or gets angry when frustrated. I come from a culture where no one admits the difficulties surrounding motherhood, and having postpartum is not even a real thing. Sadly, people can be very judgmental on Mothers and nowadays I don’t think it even matters where you come from. Ultimately, I had to LET GO of all my unrealistic expectations. I’m fine with being the the type of mom that asks for help when she needs it. I set some reasonable boundaries, because even the best moms have their limits. Also, I’m a firm believer in not saying or doing anything you can’t take back. Therefore, when I become too stressed with my husband or the little lady I simply go for a quick walk to clear my head.
I’ve noticed how I’m all work and no play; when my hubby wants a kiss I give him a quick peck and keep it moving, when I know full well what he truly wants and needs is far more than that. With my daughter I get easily frustrated when she’s playful and not focused. (Did I mention she is 2! Honestly my expectations are way out there, a.k.a. CRAZY!) Or sometimes she gets upset and refuses to cooperate. The ‘tickle method’ has worked wonders, she quickly forgets what she’s mad about or what she originally wanted to play with or do. And in public I am so NOT above bribing her with snacks, it also calms her down really fast.
Most of the answers I can come up with aren’t in the realm of possibility – things like: a few more hours in each day. In reality, I have to think that somehow finding quiet time – alone (ha ha ha) – to read scripture and pray would go a long way. Regular exercise, more planning (meals especially), keeping more organized, etc… those are all good things that would help if I could stick with them, but I generally come back to “Where do I find the time?” on those ideas.
I could really use a massage, LOL
I hope I’m not too late to enter!! This book sounds right up my alley. I think the best thing that would relieve stress in my life would be to make time every day for personal prayer. So sad that it’s easy to put off until the end of the day when exhaustion hits and it’s all I can do to crawl to bed. Definitely a New Year’s resolution to work on!!
Thanks for the great giveaway!
The ability to survive on less sleep would definately ease my stress. If i didn’t have to sleep, everything would get done.
A washer and dryer that did my clothes, folded them, and put them away!
I also liked her FB page
My first instinct is to say that having a maid, nanny, and cook would ease my stress with three children and all of my responsibilities! But if I was truly honest it would probably be for me to be more honest with what I NEED to accomplish and not think about what I WANT to accomplish. Also, to daily spend time reading my bible would be a good thing. For right now reading helps me to get some me time and ease a small amount of my stress.
I totally need this book! Other than that I think a vacation away from my sweet (and irritating) babies would help ease my stress.
If I could sleep better, that would help, like 5 hours of GREAT sleep instead of 7 hours of horrible sleep interrupted by heartburn, bladders, toddlers and preschoolers. Pregnancy sleep is the worst!
Not feeling that I have to accomplish everything and have the house spotless and everthing in order. I feel like I focus too much on that and don’t enjoy the time I have with my children because I’m always worried about that!
I think that if I had more structure in my day/week/month I could handle stress better… Still working on that one! Thanks for the opportunity to win this book! Dana
I must say that I like the title to this post even better now that the contest is closed. It makes it sound like you are telling us all that you win as far as being a grouchy mom goes. Haha. Just had to share this with you. Caz I got a kick out of it.
Having a better handle on our finances….
A morning prayer before everyone is awake is the by far the best thing i can do to get my day started off right.
Karen is incredible! Her husband was our graduate intervarsity chapter leader when I was a grad student and had the pleasure of meeting her then!